Hi Ron,

Yes, I found Kremenetz. An incredible trip. I'd love to go back. The stones were written only in Hebrew and English (only two in Russian), and were not in good shape, but still an intense visit.

I found the (abandoned) Jewish cemeterary and spend about 2 hours searching through it. Although I did not find any family names, I thoroughly enjoyed the time there. It was a warm, peaceful day, and the bees were buzzing, the pears and nuts were ripe and the trees and bushes starting to turn color. The names were all in Yiddish, and I could sound them out: Freida....Fish...man......Yaacov....cooper..stein....David....levy...

Despite the broken stones, overgrown weeds, and mossy surfaces, I felt a great sense of normalcy. Husbands and wives, mothers and children, the history of a community. It didn't matter that I couldn't find my grandmother's grandparents, because we are descendents of the community, not individuals. To understand our lives, we need to understand theirs. Both their closeness and their repressiveness.

I also spent time in Kiev. I found the Babi Yar memorial, to the 30,000 "heroic Soviet citizens" massacred in 1933 in the gorge outside Kiev. No mention that they were Jews, and the Ukrainians enthusiastically helped the Nazis. A few years ago, the Israeli government put up a memorial which is this amazing sculpture, but not at the site, and written only in Hebrew so that the local people cannot read it.

But I found the site. It is filled with trash and silence. It is next to a children's park, and is unmarked. The bodies were removed before the end of the war. It is quiet, and the fall leaves were falling into the gorge. I thought a lot about history and memory, and the balance between commodification of suffering and the injunction to never forget. Mostly I thought about the terror a mother must feel when her child is murdered in front of her. How can people rationalize the evil that they do? Do they even remember it?

I am glad that I went. I feel like I have a better sense of my own identity since I have seen where I come from. Now if I can only put it all together, and communicate this to my children.

[snip]

Beth
Beth A. Miller, DVM
Gender Program Coordinator
Heifer Project International
Secretary-Treasurer of the International Goat Association
[ address deleted ]
email: beth.miller@heifer.org or
goats@heifer.org